Let's start with several illustrations to "paint the picture". Sometime in your life you watched- as a child- or with your children, a Charlie Brown one hour special on TV. They were, of course, always well done, and they included subtle humor which adults could appreciate. However, do you remember how adults- or more precisely- the voices of invisible adults were depicted? The sound was that of a muted trumpet going, "wanh- wanh- wanh-wa-wa-wanh...", to which one of the child characters- often Peppermint Patty, would reply, "Yes Maam!" The adults were invisible. The kids were in a world of their own.
On other occasions, you may have read the comic strip "Calvin and Hobbes", where Hobbes, a mere small, stuffed toy tiger in the presence of adults, became a real tiger when adults were not around.
Finally, if you were a bit of an original Star Trek freak like me, you may remember the one episode where the Captain, Spock, the Doctor, and a few gratuitous crew members likely to be killed in that hour were standing on some far-away planet and nothing living was there. Spock asserts that his detectors show that there are life forms on the planet and very close-by. The life forms were the rocks which were moving so slowly that humans could not see them, and to the rocks, the people were moving so fast, that the rocks could likewise not see them. The presence and the doing of each group were imperceptible.
OK- enough illustrations... let's see if an actual point can be made here! When we speak of Invisible Bullying, one kind is clearly the obvious Cyber variety- the kind that the media loves to cover. We aren't going to talk about that. The other, less understood or perceived type of invisible bullying is the kind that occurs virtually right in front of adults, and because the life forms around those adult are different, the adults are completely unable to perceive that bullying is happening. Impossible, you say? How can a diligent adult, supervising the play ground, the cafeteria, the auditorium, the playing field, or their own teaching space have bullying occur right in front of them and not see it? We hope to paint that picture for all of you in this short article that will be low on scientific data and high on real life examples with the hope being that when you enter the school building tomorrow, you will be more in touch with the zeitgeist in which you and the students operate.
THE HALLWAYS
Lets begin with some examples of things that go on every day in the hallways that you are completely unaware of even while you are in the midst of it... Is the demographic makeup of your school diverse such that there is at least several different races and ethnicities represented? Well, remember when you were young? You fell in love. It still happens every day to young people. In a diverse setting, young people often fall in love with someone that they would have a hard time bringing home to meet "Mom" because Mom - not to mention the folks in the neighborhood- might not approve of the child's choice. What happens? Students stay late after school walking the hallways and finding the great nooks and crannies that one can only find in a school building. That is why young people spend a lot of time walking the hallways after school. Bet you never thought of that. Also, young people in love can be in and out of love in days- perhaps hours- and there are spats, fights, and jealous friends and acquaintances who join forces at times and the school building, as we said, is a wonderful provider of the necessary nooks and crannies to carry out a variety of plans- amorous, hostile, or otherwise. Oh, like the people in the central office- do you think that the superior hardware on the panic bar doors will protect you from outsiders? Imagine a person with a gun coming up to my new forged steel super- dead bolt,locked panic bar doors. Then imagine that person's friend inside the door giving the panic bar a simple tap- that's right folks, even the world's best metal detectors have just been rendered useless by that little tap on the panic bar- think about it next time all things seem to be under control.
Did your Principal ever tell you to try to be standing in the hallway near your classroom when classes change? It's a great idea for a number of reasons. For one, you get to talk and interact in a less-than-serious way with students and they are able to see you in a different light- always a good thing. The second reason is that your mere presence can be a deterrent to inappropriate pushing-shoving- running- loud talking, etc. and therefore helps to keep some semblance of order in what for some kids, is a very scary adventure- that of simply making a class change. However, you could be a mere three feet away and not see certain events that occur on a daily basis. Did you know that all ethnic groups are abused both physically and verbally to an extreme in the movement from one class to another? Here are some ways it happens: 1) Students are sucker- punched on a regular basis by students of other races as they pass thru the hallways. It happens with lightening speed and the abused student finds himself in a heap on the ground and dazed while everyone calmly keeps walking along as if nothing happened. You don't see it because you have no expectation of such a thing happening in a place where there are many people and where there actually are teachers standing around. When the abused child stands up and asks who did this, no one says a word and if the child asks a teacher, the teachers shrugs his shoulders and says that he or she can't help without any proof, etc. You don't think this happens, right? Ask some kids "in the know" to tell you confidentially not who- but if- such a thing goes on- you'll be surprised. When the child tells his parents, the parents come storming in to the office to confront the principal who is at a loss to provide the parents with a shred of satisfaction. When the lawsuit occurs, your name will be in it if this event happened near your classroom. It will take a lot of your time, but you will likely prevail because the abused child will not be able to pinpoint who did this to him. Still think its easy to walk those hallways? To conclude with a graphic example- inmates doing hard time occasionally are stabbed in the back with a very sharp object. Does this event occur when everybody is sleeping and a bad guy sneaks into someone's cell at night? No, it happens right in the lunch line or as the group is walking in close order to their next responsibility with plenty of supervision around.
Let's keep it more benign. On a regular basis, bullied individuals are given "flat tires" which occur when someone steps on your heal. Books are knocked out of the hands of students, hair is pulled, racial epithets, slurs, and threats are made- soto voce, in small written notes, or out loud for other s to hear. "Kick me" signs are old school- you can see them when you watch "Back to the Future."When a teacher is asked by a student to help out in this matter, the other student denies the accusation leaving the teacher to create the convenient "false equivalency" which brings on the admonition, "I want all of you people to act appropriately when you walk through the hallways, etc... sort of sounds like "Wanh-wanh-wanh", doesn't it? That's right, nobody gets caught, and nobody is listening to the teacher. This happens inches away from adult supervision and it goes unseen. Insults of a racial, ethnic, sexual, disability nature are passed back and forth all day long and regardless of how alert the adult is, it is never seen or heard. The media goes off the proverbial deep-end when a person is threatened or insulted or "ganged-up" upon electronically, but things are being whispered in your child's ear or stated more openly right in the middle of the hallway every class change causing kids great stress and making them, for example, late for class as they take the long way to avoid a bully or certain group of bullies. Merely going to school at all loses its appeal quickly- especially when a child "looks different" in some way- whether that be because of dress- hair-skin color- disability, etc. The world we live in is a difficult place. Life has never been more difficult in the United States than it is today for "Different" people. Just look at all of the American Flags on stores of Mid-Eastern and Indian People. Before you make the usual assertion about how nasty kids are, take a look at how the adults are acting. I don't know about you, but I do not even recognize this country I grew up in. Civility is in short supply these days- especially by those charged most seriously with exhibiting it. People in the arts like Dr. Seuss (The Sneetches), James Michener, and Oscar Hammerstein railed against the hatred years ago. Here's what Oscar Hammerstein wrote as the lyrics for the song in South Pacific entitled "You've Got to be Taught."
You've got to be taught to hate and fear.
You've got to be taught from year to year.
It's got to be drummed in your dear little ear.
You've got to be carefully taught.
You've got to be taught to be afraid.
Of people whose eyes are oddly made.
And people whose skin is a different shade.
You've got to be carefully taught.
You've got to be taught before its too late.
Before you are six, or seven or eight.
To hate all the people your relatives hate.
You've got to be carefully taught.
You've got to be carefully taught.
Listen for a moment, parents. Often without even trying sometimes, you have "carefully taught" your children. Does your child stay late at school to "get help" or participate in something slightly undefined- just remember that they might have a new friend that you would not be happy to meet! We in the schools, try as we might, are not going to make the hate and fear disappear. It's a battle every day, and the most effective bullies are the ones that do their business right in the midst of everybody, and we adults, not being able to conceive of such a thing happening in such a place at such a time, are completely blind to it. You are usually not negligent, teachers, but you can't supervise in a decontextualized manner either. Talk to the "bad guys". Become friends with some of them. Enlist their help with the promise of anonymity. They will tell you shocking stories of things happening right in your midst that you are clueless about. This strategy works. School employees who have tried it speak of heading incidents off because of advance warning from certain students. Don't be appalled by this strategy- the police depend on their contacts from the dark side too.
Constant vigilance is all we have folks- the fancy cameras, metal detectors, dead bolt locks, and legally perfect discipline codes are minor inconveniences to skilled bullies- and that's not counting the one we see on the news each night!
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