Invisible - NOT CYBER - Bullying in School: Part I - The Hallways

!: Invisible - NOT CYBER - Bullying in School: Part I - The Hallways

Let's start with several illustrations to "paint the picture". Sometime in your life you watched- as a child- or with your children, a Charlie Brown one hour special on TV. They were, of course, always well done, and they included subtle humor which adults could appreciate. However, do you remember how adults- or more precisely- the voices of invisible adults were depicted? The sound was that of a muted trumpet going, "wanh- wanh- wanh-wa-wa-wanh...", to which one of the child characters- often Peppermint Patty, would reply, "Yes Maam!" The adults were invisible. The kids were in a world of their own.

On other occasions, you may have read the comic strip "Calvin and Hobbes", where Hobbes, a mere small, stuffed toy tiger in the presence of adults, became a real tiger when adults were not around.

Finally, if you were a bit of an original Star Trek freak like me, you may remember the one episode where the Captain, Spock, the Doctor, and a few gratuitous crew members likely to be killed in that hour were standing on some far-away planet and nothing living was there. Spock asserts that his detectors show that there are life forms on the planet and very close-by. The life forms were the rocks which were moving so slowly that humans could not see them, and to the rocks, the people were moving so fast, that the rocks could likewise not see them. The presence and the doing of each group were imperceptible.

OK- enough illustrations... let's see if an actual point can be made here! When we speak of Invisible Bullying, one kind is clearly the obvious Cyber variety- the kind that the media loves to cover. We aren't going to talk about that. The other, less understood or perceived type of invisible bullying is the kind that occurs virtually right in front of adults, and because the life forms around those adult are different, the adults are completely unable to perceive that bullying is happening. Impossible, you say? How can a diligent adult, supervising the play ground, the cafeteria, the auditorium, the playing field, or their own teaching space have bullying occur right in front of them and not see it? We hope to paint that picture for all of you in this short article that will be low on scientific data and high on real life examples with the hope being that when you enter the school building tomorrow, you will be more in touch with the zeitgeist in which you and the students operate.

THE HALLWAYS

Lets begin with some examples of things that go on every day in the hallways that you are completely unaware of even while you are in the midst of it... Is the demographic makeup of your school diverse such that there is at least several different races and ethnicities represented? Well, remember when you were young? You fell in love. It still happens every day to young people. In a diverse setting, young people often fall in love with someone that they would have a hard time bringing home to meet "Mom" because Mom - not to mention the folks in the neighborhood- might not approve of the child's choice. What happens? Students stay late after school walking the hallways and finding the great nooks and crannies that one can only find in a school building. That is why young people spend a lot of time walking the hallways after school. Bet you never thought of that. Also, young people in love can be in and out of love in days- perhaps hours- and there are spats, fights, and jealous friends and acquaintances who join forces at times and the school building, as we said, is a wonderful provider of the necessary nooks and crannies to carry out a variety of plans- amorous, hostile, or otherwise. Oh, like the people in the central office- do you think that the superior hardware on the panic bar doors will protect you from outsiders? Imagine a person with a gun coming up to my new forged steel super- dead bolt,locked panic bar doors. Then imagine that person's friend inside the door giving the panic bar a simple tap- that's right folks, even the world's best metal detectors have just been rendered useless by that little tap on the panic bar- think about it next time all things seem to be under control.

Did your Principal ever tell you to try to be standing in the hallway near your classroom when classes change? It's a great idea for a number of reasons. For one, you get to talk and interact in a less-than-serious way with students and they are able to see you in a different light- always a good thing. The second reason is that your mere presence can be a deterrent to inappropriate pushing-shoving- running- loud talking, etc. and therefore helps to keep some semblance of order in what for some kids, is a very scary adventure- that of simply making a class change. However, you could be a mere three feet away and not see certain events that occur on a daily basis. Did you know that all ethnic groups are abused both physically and verbally to an extreme in the movement from one class to another? Here are some ways it happens: 1) Students are sucker- punched on a regular basis by students of other races as they pass thru the hallways. It happens with lightening speed and the abused student finds himself in a heap on the ground and dazed while everyone calmly keeps walking along as if nothing happened. You don't see it because you have no expectation of such a thing happening in a place where there are many people and where there actually are teachers standing around. When the abused child stands up and asks who did this, no one says a word and if the child asks a teacher, the teachers shrugs his shoulders and says that he or she can't help without any proof, etc. You don't think this happens, right? Ask some kids "in the know" to tell you confidentially not who- but if- such a thing goes on- you'll be surprised. When the child tells his parents, the parents come storming in to the office to confront the principal who is at a loss to provide the parents with a shred of satisfaction. When the lawsuit occurs, your name will be in it if this event happened near your classroom. It will take a lot of your time, but you will likely prevail because the abused child will not be able to pinpoint who did this to him. Still think its easy to walk those hallways? To conclude with a graphic example- inmates doing hard time occasionally are stabbed in the back with a very sharp object. Does this event occur when everybody is sleeping and a bad guy sneaks into someone's cell at night? No, it happens right in the lunch line or as the group is walking in close order to their next responsibility with plenty of supervision around.

Let's keep it more benign. On a regular basis, bullied individuals are given "flat tires" which occur when someone steps on your heal. Books are knocked out of the hands of students, hair is pulled, racial epithets, slurs, and threats are made- soto voce, in small written notes, or out loud for other s to hear. "Kick me" signs are old school- you can see them when you watch "Back to the Future."When a teacher is asked by a student to help out in this matter, the other student denies the accusation leaving the teacher to create the convenient "false equivalency" which brings on the admonition, "I want all of you people to act appropriately when you walk through the hallways, etc... sort of sounds like "Wanh-wanh-wanh", doesn't it? That's right, nobody gets caught, and nobody is listening to the teacher. This happens inches away from adult supervision and it goes unseen. Insults of a racial, ethnic, sexual, disability nature are passed back and forth all day long and regardless of how alert the adult is, it is never seen or heard. The media goes off the proverbial deep-end when a person is threatened or insulted or "ganged-up" upon electronically, but things are being whispered in your child's ear or stated more openly right in the middle of the hallway every class change causing kids great stress and making them, for example, late for class as they take the long way to avoid a bully or certain group of bullies. Merely going to school at all loses its appeal quickly- especially when a child "looks different" in some way- whether that be because of dress- hair-skin color- disability, etc. The world we live in is a difficult place. Life has never been more difficult in the United States than it is today for "Different" people. Just look at all of the American Flags on stores of Mid-Eastern and Indian People. Before you make the usual assertion about how nasty kids are, take a look at how the adults are acting. I don't know about you, but I do not even recognize this country I grew up in. Civility is in short supply these days- especially by those charged most seriously with exhibiting it. People in the arts like Dr. Seuss (The Sneetches), James Michener, and Oscar Hammerstein railed against the hatred years ago. Here's what Oscar Hammerstein wrote as the lyrics for the song in South Pacific entitled "You've Got to be Taught."

You've got to be taught to hate and fear.
You've got to be taught from year to year.
It's got to be drummed in your dear little ear.
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught to be afraid.
Of people whose eyes are oddly made.
And people whose skin is a different shade.
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught before its too late.
Before you are six, or seven or eight.
To hate all the people your relatives hate.
You've got to be carefully taught.
You've got to be carefully taught.

Listen for a moment, parents. Often without even trying sometimes, you have "carefully taught" your children. Does your child stay late at school to "get help" or participate in something slightly undefined- just remember that they might have a new friend that you would not be happy to meet! We in the schools, try as we might, are not going to make the hate and fear disappear. It's a battle every day, and the most effective bullies are the ones that do their business right in the midst of everybody, and we adults, not being able to conceive of such a thing happening in such a place at such a time, are completely blind to it. You are usually not negligent, teachers, but you can't supervise in a decontextualized manner either. Talk to the "bad guys". Become friends with some of them. Enlist their help with the promise of anonymity. They will tell you shocking stories of things happening right in your midst that you are clueless about. This strategy works. School employees who have tried it speak of heading incidents off because of advance warning from certain students. Don't be appalled by this strategy- the police depend on their contacts from the dark side too.

Constant vigilance is all we have folks- the fancy cameras, metal detectors, dead bolt locks, and legally perfect discipline codes are minor inconveniences to skilled bullies- and that's not counting the one we see on the news each night!

Invisible - NOT CYBER - Bullying in School: Part I - The Hallways

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How to Organize Your Home School

!: How to Organize Your Home School

So you homeschool - that is great! Homeschooling is wonderful, we have been enjoying it ourselves for a number of years and we love it. The big question - I have all this great stuff - where do I put it? How do I organize the papers, and pencils and pens and those little tiny bears and don't even get me started on the books, oh my the books. I have the stuff, now I need to know how to organize it all.

First - take a deep breathe and know that you are not alone, either in your homeschooling journey or in your quest to manage the madness and learn how to organize.

The Steps to Organization (a.k.a. How to Organize) are fairly straight forward. Imagine you are putting together a puzzle. What do you do first? (Well, first you open the box, but I am figuring we got past that part.) So what do you second? Depending on the kind of person you are, you start by sorting the pieces. The pieces with the straight edges go into one pile and the pieces without the straight edges go back into the bottom of the box. So our first step in learning how to organize is:

HOW TO ORGANIZE STEP 1 -- SORTING (woo hoo, yeah, think trumpets and fanfare -- this is exciting, we know where to start learning how to organize)

After you are done sorting your pieces, we move on to step two. (I know, I know - I didn't tell you how to sort or what to sort or how to organize anything yet - that comes later in the article. Just hang in there.)
So what is the next thing that you do when building a puzzle? Do we sort it out and then just walk away? Do we put all the middle pieces (i.e. pieces without the straight edge) together first? No, first we build a border for our pieces. So step two is:

HOW TO ORGANIZE STEP 2 -- BUILDING A BORDER (more fanfare, sounds of cheering)

The border is now built, but we are not done yet. If you left the puzzle with just a border you never get to enjoy the beauty of it. The same goes for learning how to organize. Building a border is great, but now you have to use it. How do you use a border? I am glad that you asked (OK, I am glad that I asked, but if you were here I am sure you would have asked.) We use a puzzle border to give us information about the puzzle. The border tells us how big the final product will be. It helps us to determine where the interior pieces should go and it also lets us see a light at the end of the tunnel. (I went from puzzles to trains, and soon I will go back again. It's a mixed metaphor, but I digress.) So step three of how to organize is:

HOW TO ORGANIZE STEP 3 -- FILLING IN THE PIECES

This makes sense when you are thinking about a puzzle, after all you have this pile of non-straight-edge pieces just sitting there and waiting. How does this work with organizing? Do you recall way back in how to organize - step one where we were sorting? Those are our missing pieces, so filling in the pieces means that you are now putting stuff away. (Yes, another light at the end of the tunnel) So that's it we are done, right? After all, we sorted the pieces, we built the border, we filled in the pieces, our puzzle is done. Right? Wrong! Sorry, but there is one more step before you are organized. (Actually, I am not sorry, but it sounds nicer to say it that way rather than - tough luck bucko, quit being a whiner.) So then what is the last step? Take a minute and think about it - when you are done with a puzzle what do you do? Do you leave it where you built it? Do you take it all apart so you can do it again another time? Do you smear goo on it so that is will become a work of art for you to hang on the wall? For the purposes of our analogy (i.e. comparing building a puzzle with learning how to organize) We are going to so no, no, yes. No, we don't just leave it where it is - that just adds to the clutter. No, we don't take it apart (What? Are you crazy? We just did all this work getting organized, for goodness sake, don't take it apart.) Yes, we smear goo on it so it is a work of art. Now, before you go get actual goo and really make a mess of things remember - this is an analogy. The goo is basically the stuff that holds the puzzle together and keeps it looking nice. That is what we need - we want our newly organized area to look nice. So the final step is:

HOW TO ORGANIZE STEP 4 -- THE FINAL STEP - KEEP IT ORGANIZED (I forgot the fanfare for step three so let's just add it in here - fanfare, fireworks and a laser light show, and a skywriter writing out "you just learned the basic steps of how to organize".)

Now that we have climbed the "Steps of Organization" (aka how to organize) together, let's look at an example.

Note: if you have only short periods of time to work on your organizing project then still work your way through the steps, however organize in small sections. For example, organize the floor first, then organize shelves (one at a time), etc.)

Step 1: Sorting

This is the hard part, but if you want to learn how to organize and stay organized, it really is necessary. Let's head off to your homeschool room / area / closet and bring some boxes with you. Begin by labeling your boxes in the following way - trash, donate / sell, doesn't belong in this area - depending on the amount of stuff that you have you may need multiple boxes. Once you have gone through your initial sort, take the trash away, and move the donate / sell boxes to another place (preferably out of your house). Now we get down to the nitty gritty of learning how to organize - in the next step we will start building our border so that we are able to put things back in an organized way. Keep a box or two around so that any items you decide you no longer need can be placed in the box. If you have a lot of items you no longer need, consider selling them at a local convention or online homeschool books site.

If you are limited on space in your school area, take a look around your home to see if you have storage spaces anywhere. To keep the number of school items to a minimum you can choose to keep out only what you will be using immediately (within the week, month, semester or year). For the items you are storing organize them on a shelf (if possible) or in labeled boxes. Label your boxes with the contents so when you need to retrieve items they will be easier to find. An idea for how to organize the storage boxes are to label them with the approximate year (i.e. first grade, middle school, etc), the subject (math, science) and the date of when you put the box into storage. If you find that you have one or more boxes that you do not use for a while, consider if you need to keep the items in the box, or if you can sell or donate the items.

Step 2: Building a Border

Since I have yet to see two homeschool rooms that look alike I am going to go over some of the basics of how to organize your homeschool items, from there, you should have a pretty good handle on things and can continue on. If not, send me an email through our contact us page and let me know your question on how to organize your homeschool (or any other area) and I will try to be of some assistance.

Books:

Living books, textbooks, workbooks, lab books, notebooks, chapter books, first reader books, picture books, puzzle books, teacher books, student books, books about homeschooling, books, books, books - if you homeschool, you have books. The question is how to organize all of those books?

One option, depending on space, is a bookshelf. We have used kit built shelves as well as have custom bookshelves built into a closet by using shelf brackets and wood from our local hardware store. Homemade shelves are fairly simple to make and if you don't have the equipment to cut the wood at home, most hardware stores will cut pieces for you (for a small fee), just make sure you measure before you go. (Measure twice, cut once - otherwise it is measure once, cut once, buy some more...)

If you want other shelf organizer options, you can look at the cubbyhole shelf options, or a wall mounted book shelf. There are a number of options available so take your time and look around to determine the best idea on how to organize your books. (after all, you have to live with it, I don't)

Supplies:

Supplies tend to multiply, you start with a few pens, then they somehow grow into dozens of pens. Deciding how to organize these supplies will vary from homeschool to homeschool. Below you will find a variety of drawer suggestions and other ways to organize various supplies. Use these items as a spring board to style your own border. Be sure to read through step 3 for information on using a label maker to help you learn how to organize your bins, boxes, and drawers in an easy to use way.

Wide drawers will organize paper, pens, even workbooks. I discovered these drawers when I was trying to decide how to organize lab supplies. One of my drawers is for live experiments, this doesn't mean that I keep frogs or bugs in there, instead I use it for organizing food for fish and frogs, seeds for plants and other supplies. Another drawer is our Explorer Gear drawer, that one contains binoculars, small nets, a small bug habitat as well as other supplies. Wide drawers are can be found in the plastic storage section or the craft section. These are generally 12 x 12 so they are great for books and papers.

Mini drawers are great for organizing pens, pencils, paper clips, rubber bands and all of those little office supplies. When looking at drawers be sure to check the information on the drawer sizes before buying online. For example, on some websites the mini drawers look larger than the wide drawers, this is however, not the case in real life. Check your space allotment by measuring, then find drawers that will fit. (Great homeschool project - make the kids measure then figure out the area of the space and which drawers will fit best)

Shoe boxes may not seem to have a space in your homeschool space, but they are wonderful for organizing. When you want to discover how to organize math manipulatives, various games and science equipment think shoe boxes. Items can be easily organized and as the boxes have lids they can also be stacked. When looking for storage boxes, be sure to look for clear boxes for ease of identification of the items within, if you constantly have to take the tops off of boxes to find out what is in the box you will soon give up on your organizational system. You also want boxes that have lids. While having baskets may look prettier, they do not stack and if something is taken off of the shelf incorrectly it make a big mess. Another reason to have boxes with lids is that you are learning how to organize, and it is very easy in the beginning of the learn how to organize process to fall back into old habits. A box without a lid becomes a dumping ground for little things.

A decorative way to organize includes the use of baskets (I know I just said don't use baskets, but after you have learned how to organize, you can begin to look at other options, like baskets. Just be sure they are used for very specific things. We have three baskets under a long table by the front door, these are our library baskets. Only library books and the check out slips are placed in the baskets. You can also utilize door space, by using something like a 15-Pocket Over Door Organizer or a file folder holder. We have also used the Kids' Toy Organizer and Storage Bin, but not in the schoolroom. It started in the schoolroom, but then I have found this doesn't work as well since there are no lids. In the kids rooms, toy organizers work fairly well to keep toys organized, but it all depends on the ages of your kids and the variety of your supplies. Teaching your kids how to organize their own things now will save you time later.

Step 3: Filling in the Pieces

Now is when you start putting things back. An item that I have found to be a great organizing tool is a label maker. Some examples of label makers are the DYMO Personal Label Maker or the Brother P-touch Electronic Labeling System. You can even use printable Avery Mailing Labels. The whole point is you need a way to label. What are you going to label? The short answer is: everything. All of the boxes, drawers, and pockets should get a label. This way if you find an empty box, you know what was supposed to be in it. Also, when you look into your storage area you can see at a glance what you have. Where else can you use these labels? 3 Ring Binders! If you want to know how to organize multiple binders in the same space (I usually buy them as a multi-pack so they all look alike) without getting having to open each binder to determine its content, put a label on the spine and eliminate this issue.

Step 4: The Final Step - How to Organize to that You Can Stay Organized

Once you have learned how to organize you need to learn how to keep it organized. A simple organizational system will make it easier for you to keep organized. One of the ways I do this is by labeling my boxes on both ends, that way when the kids put them back onto the shelf (see - teaching kids how to organize) backwards it doesn't matter, because the boxes are labeled on both ends. Another way I keep organized is by having a Mommy section and a kids section. In the kids section there are the items that the kids can use and learn with on their own, in the mommy section are the things that I think they need help with. This will vary based on the age of your kids. Remember unless you live alone (and if you homeschool then you don't live alone) you are not the only one who needs to know how to organize. If everyone knows how to organize then your life will be a lot easier.

The bottom line - have fun turning your school area into an organized place to be, that way you will all enjoy spending time there. Organizing doesn't have to be hard - take time to look through your things. Keep what you want, get rid of what you don't and organize what is left so that you can find everything when you need to.

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How to Organize Your Home School

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